


In Awe

by Inquartata (mackillian)



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Mischief, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 05:45:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13920627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mackillian/pseuds/Inquartata
Summary: No one knows that the two genetically engineered to be perfect specimens of their species are friends. No one else understands who they are. Not like they do.





	In Awe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nanrea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanrea/gifts).



“I’m bored,” Grunt said from his hospital bed.

Miranda, resting against the pillows in her own bed on the opposite side of the room—and she’d been assigned the same room as Grunt because Shepard thought it would be hilarious to subject Miranda to Grunt’s antics—didn’t look up from her datapad. “You could try reading.”

“Eh. Overrated.” There was rustling as Grunt shifted around in his bed for likely the thousandth time since that morning. “Why aren’t you bored?”

“Because I’m reading.”

Miranda didn’t even have to see him to know he’d rolled his eyes.

Then he said, “We should be out by now. Maybe they’re keeping us in here on purpose.”

“They are. People stay in hospitals to heal.”

“Most people aren’t me.”

Miranda abandoned her datapad in favor of giving Grunt a flat look. “A mountain collapsed on you.”

He grinned. “Didn’t work out for the mountain, did it?”

Fair point.

Grunt fired up his omni. “We should break out and do something fun.”

“Did you happen to forget that I got stabbed?”

“You’re genetically engineered perfection, like me. Stabs only piss you off.”

She _had_ been extraordinary pissed off by the entirety of what happened on Horizon. Beginning to recognize that she must be a little bored too, given that she even vaguely entertained Grunt’s ideas, Miranda checked her charts—and she could walk out right now if she wanted. “What did you have in mind?”

“We should celebrate my birthday.”

“You finally chose one?”

“About five minutes ago.” He jerked his chin toward the window. “I reckon we can just jump out. No need for a complicated escape plan.”

After swiftly performing the necessary calculations in her head, Miranda said, “We’ll need rope and someone to catch us.”

“Lemme call my squadmates.” Minutes passed as he negotiated with some of his fellow Aralakh Company members. Then he had to provide them with holos of the window and the Presidium below. “They’re game,” he said as he opened the wardrobe where Liara had stashed his repaired armor. “They’re bringing ryncol. I told ‘em it was your birthday too, so one of the bottles is yours.”

Miranda glanced up from checking the suitability of her own clothing. Liara had somehow obtained an outfit similar to her last—which had been irreparable due to having been slashed by a goddamn sword—but this one with more advanced protective weaving and mods than her previous suit. She’d yet to regret the armistice between herself and Liara since the galaxy was better off with them cooperating. It was that reason _and_ because Miranda had a hard time seeing Liara in an entirely bad light since Grunt still had an adorable crush on the asari. When Liara had stopped by for a visit and dropped off their gear, Grunt had blushed. And then stammered. And then it was all Miranda could do not to burst into laughter. 

“Didn’t you say ryncol hits aliens like ground glass? I seem to recall you saying those exact words.”

“I figure genetically engineered perfection can handle it no matter what the species. Make it one of your science experiments or something and see if it does. Record how you react. Then we can go out drinking another night, no ryncol. Compare after with—what's it called? Control and experimental groups?”

“I’m gratified to know you’ve been paying some attention when I’ve explained to you what I do.”

“Yeah, but I pay more attention when you talk about how you kill people, not the boring science bits. Both are clever, but the killing methods are way more fun.” His omni lit up. “Boys are here. Time to go.”

While Miranda did not _run_ to the window, her steps may have been described as long.

Before she’d gone halfway across the room, Grunt had smashed the window.

Not for the first time, Miranda believed Okeer could have included some extra patience with his perfect tank-bred krogan. “I could’ve done that with my biotics. Without shattering the glass.”

Heedless of the tiny chunks of glass still clinging to the casing, Grunt stuck his head out the window and shouted, “You bring the rope?”

“Yeah,” Miranda heard faintly, “but how d’you want us to get it up there?”

“Have him toss it up as far as he can.” Miranda moved to stand close to Grunt, but out of the path of any remaining glass. “I’ll grab it with my biotics.”

“Hold on,” Grunt yelled at the krogan waiting far below them. Then he looked over at Miranda. “So you going to need to use the rope or can you do that fancy biotic gliding stuff I’ve seen asari do?”

Miranda had long wondered if she had the capability, but she’d yet to convince a single asari to teach her because ‘human biotics aren’t strong enough.’ She held in a sigh. “I’m not certain, but this would be a terrible time to test whether or not I can.” Then she glanced out the window and motioned for the krogan to throw the rope. “However, since we’ve no idea where they got this rope, I’m going first.”

“Probably a good idea.”

She managed to reach the ground without issue. Not Grunt. A third of the way down, the rope snapped and Grunt plummeted several stories to land on the sidewalk.

The cheers from the Aralakh Company krogan drowned out Miranda’s sigh as she walked over to evaluate the damage. This was the worst idea they’d had since the tomkah-tossing competition.

The Presidium walkway’s metal plating had dented a little, but Grunt merely shook himself and shot an irritated look at the faulty rope.

One of Grunt’s three squadmates chucked a bottle of ryncol to him. “Happy birthday!”

Grunt caught it, removed the lid, and downed half of it before he asked, “Where’s hers?”

The second of Grunt’s squadmates gave Miranda a bottle identical to Grunt’s, but she immediately handed it to Grunt. “Happy birthday.”

He saluted her with the bottle, downed the second half of the first, and tossed the empty one into a nearby trash bin. Then, gripping the full bottle by its neck, he started walking toward the main pathways of the Presidium—the ones that lined the Presidium Lake. Since Shepard had established that there weren’t any fish in said lake, Miranda assumed she needn’t worry about krogan deciding to go for a swim.

She needed to stop assuming things.

Miranda wasn’t sure whose idea it was other than it certainly hadn’t been _her_ idea, thank you very much, but practically as soon as the krogan statue was within sight, Grunt and his squadmates hopped into the lake’s shallows, heedless of the splashing. Then they headed straight for the statue and began climbing it.

Given the bulk of krogan bodies and the relatively few handholds on the statue, that they managed to make it to the top without anyone falling was an admirable show of agility on their part. In addition, ryncol appeared to reach peak plasma concentration with incredible speed and Miranda made a mental note to conduct a study on it after the war. The substance could have a wide variety of uses other than liquifying non-krogan internal organs or merely quickly and thoroughly intoxicating krogan. Even the genetically engineered perfect krogan.

Grunt waved his arms to get Miranda’s attention. “Look! I’m sitting on his headplate!”

“I’m in awe,” Miranda said with scant enthusiasm. “Truly.” It wasn’t a lie. She just didn’t specify that her awe was currently reserved for the possible applications of ryncol beyond what they’d seen in the past hour.

“Are you coming up here or not?” asked Grunt.

“No. I’m human, not krogan.”

“Fine. If you’re going to be boring because you don’t like climbing statues, at least be useful and take the group picture.”

“You want me to generate evidence of your criminal mischief?”

“Are you going to take the picture or not? It’s my birthday. You have to be nice.”

She sighed. “Only if each and every one of you get down from there after I take the picture.”

“Deal.”

Unfortunately, C-Sec appeared straight after Miranda took the picture. Very unfortunately, Grunt decided to toss his full ryncol bottle at C-Sec’s skycar as it landed. When the undercarriage of the skycar touched down on the metal plating of the ground, a resulting spark ignited the ryncol as it splashed from the shattered bottle onto the side panel of the skycar. Instant conflagration.

Miranda was duly impressed by the ryncol’s flammability.

C-Sec understandably threw themselves from the skycar and began to yell at the krogan who’d returned to the Presidium walkway nearest the statue. Water puddled around their boots.

Most unfortunately, Grunt leapt into the abandoned C-Sec vehicle. To be specific, the one that was currently on fire.

As one does.

His three squadmates piled in after him and then the skycar took off.

And now this was worse than the time she and Grunt had competed to see who could startle Samara enough to make her jump. The competition had earned them a stern talking-to from an annoyed justicar and the uncanny feeling that they’d just experienced a close encounter with death. They’d decided that merely having survived the event constituted a victory.

In this case, Miranda supposed that they’d be lucky if neither of them ended up in C-Sec custody. 

Somewhat fortunately, C-Sec assumed Miranda wasn’t associated with the miscreant krogan and had merely been a witness. It took her twenty minutes to convince them that truly, she knew nothing other than seeing krogan on the krogan statue and shouldn’t that be allowed since they’re krogan? The turian officer said she had a point, but the salarian had disagreed and the second turian officer let Miranda go as the other two continued arguing.

After Miranda settled into taxi, she messaged Grunt and asked where he was.

> _At Shepard’s place. She bailed me out._

> You didn’t mention anything about my involvement to Shepard, did you?

> _Nah. Shepard’s my battlemaster, but she isn’t genetically engineered perfection like us. She wouldn’t get it._

> Your discretion is appreciated.

> _Think I’ll have a hangover in the morning?_

> In the very least, you’ll know whether or not Okeer considered immunity to hangovers one of the traits required in a genetically engineered perfect krogan.

> _You get hangovers?_

> Don’t be absurd.

> _Gotta go. Shepard’s getting suspicious._

Maybe one day they’d tell Shepard that their rivalry had grown into friendship.

_After_ Miranda had racked up a higher Reaper body count than Grunt.


End file.
